‘Who’s top of the table?’ Tizzano’s cheeky shot at trans-Tasman titans

Carlo Tizzano’s mind went straight to the top when asked which New Zealand team he most wants to defeat when trans-Tasman Super Rugby begins next month.

“Who’s top of the table at the moment?” Tizzano replied.

When a reporter told Tizzano that position belonged to the Crusaders, the Waratahs workhorse didn’t have a second thought.

Carlo Tizzano has his eyes on the Crusaders.Credit:Getty

“Yeah, the Crusaders,” he said. “And it’ll be cool to get a run against Ardie Savea [when the Waratahs play the Hurricanes].

“Going against one of, if not the best, No. 7 in the world would be awesome. But they’re the team and the guy I want to have a crack against.”

The Highlanders didn’t rate a mention from Tizzano but their coach Tony Brown on Sunday declared his side would sweep the Australian Super Rugby sides.

“We thrive off that. We know we can put some good footy together,” Tizzano said.

“We’re a young team and from where we were at the start of the year to now, the improvement we’ve had and the circumstances that have happened with obviously Rob [Penney] leaving, we’ve hit some good ground and I’m really excited for the future.”

Before the Waratahs focus on facing the five New Zealand franchises, they have Saturday’s clash with the Rebels to worry about.

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Labor’s cheeky media move irks Laming

Andrew Laming has fired up after Anthony Albanese held a press conference outside his bayside office.

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A cheeky single from Burgoyne in the nervous 390s

Fletcher only touched the ball once in three matches and Tuck in one while Bartlett never dropped below two touches although he managed to play 75 games without recording a handball.

Bartlett said he had no issue with Burgoyne jumping from 392 to 393 pointing out that it’s always been one of the rules of the game and it was no different in reality to a player registering a game when injured in the first minute.

But the champion Tiger joked that ‘Boomer’ Harvey might see things differently if Burgoyne moved close to his 432-game record.

“‘Boomer’ might get a bit disappointed if he [Burgoyne] sits on the bench for 50 games straight and never plays,” Bartlett said.

“‘Boomer’ might say ‘hang on, that’s a bit much’ and ask for a recount.”

The Hawks have only used their sub once with Connor Downie making his debut in round one without actually taking the field, a game that he might look back on fondly if he joins Burgoyne in the nervous 390s in 20 years.

It’s worth Downie taking note that ‘Silk’ Burgoyne only had one touch on debut on 14 May, 2002, a game he played exactly two weeks after Downie was born.

Upside down town

While we are on statistical quirks anyone alive in the late ’70s and early ’80s will know how unusual it is to see the Western Bulldogs and Melbourne sitting in the top two spots on the ladder after a round of football.

Not only is it a new experience for Nathan Jones, who has not been part of a team sitting first or second on the ladder in his 298-game career until now, but according to AFL Tables this week is the first time since round 3, 1957 that the Dogs have sat on top and Melbourne second after a round of football.

The Demons won the flag that season, just saying.


Snake alert

Despite being slightly late to the party Snap Shot could not let the Good Friday experience of the Finley fourths – coached by none other than Geelong forward Tom Hawkins’ cousin Lachlan Hawkins – go through to the keeper just yet.

Their match, which kicked off a massive day against Deniliquin, halted when young Harry Daniel spotted a tiger snake taking up a dangerous space in the middle of the ground.

He told a teammate who told the umpire Matthew Boyd who halted the game, only for half the farmers in the Riverina to wander on to the ground to identify the type of snake they were dealing with.

Club president Ashley Haynes suspects the snake popped up from a sprinkler hole when the ground started vibrating as a game of footy got underway.

“He was relocated on the end of a shovel,” Haynes said.

The gatekeeper Barry Dawe is now checking all sprinklers before the match to ensure no snakes sneak in without paying with Hawkins unlikely to be directing the fourths to kick “long bombs to Snake” – Ron Barassi’s famous instructions for North players to look for Phil Baker – any time soon.

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La Liga: Franco Vazquez scores cheeky backheel goal as Sevilla beat Elche

Watch highlights as Youssef En-Nesyri’s header and a cheeky backheel goal from Franco Vazquez give Sevilla a 2-0 win over Elche and cement their position in the top four of La Liga.

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Gerard Whateley’s cheeky “wild observation” heading into the 2021 season

Gerard Whateley has made a self-admitted “wild observation” heading into the 2021 AFL season.

While this isn’t an official prediction, Whateley believes it’s possible St Kilda takes full advantage of their favourable fixture across the first half of the year.

“One observation to conclude, I’ll go first: I’ve got a track specialist for the year. Back the Saints out of the red box at Marvel Stadium,” he told SEN’s Whateley.

“Eagles in Perth, Geelong in Geelong, I think the toughest assignment in footy might be facing St Kilda under the roof on the lightning fast deck at Marvel.

“They play nine of their first 12 at the ground.

“They could be top of the ladder after 12 rounds on the back of that.

“St Kilda could be top of the ladder after 12 rounds, having played nine games at Marvel.

“I just think teams will be going ‘which way did they go?!’.”

We saw on Thursday night St Kilda can take full advantage of the additional speed in the game thanks to the man on the mark change, beating Carlton by 26 points in a shootout.

The Saints play: Melbourne, Essendon, West Coast, Richmond, Hawthorn, Geelong, Western Bulldogs, North Melbourne and Sydney at Marvel Stadium before Round 13, pending fixture changes.

David King’s final observation before the 2021 season revolved around the MRO and hoping they continue to crack down on bumps to the head, following Zac Williams’ one-week ban for colliding with Hunter Clark.

“I want Steve Hocking to have another press conference this week and I want Michael Christian standing next to him and I want them to say to AFL players out there ‘if you’re going to anywhere near the head guys, starting point is one week and we’re up from there’,” King said.

“It’s been on the front page of the AFL handout for 18 months, but if the AFL is serious, and we were big on this last year, you’ve got to make it two weeks, but this is it.

“Don’t be silly enough to bump the head from this point forward.”

Carlton has revealed they will challenge the one-week ban at the AFL Tribunal.

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Cheeky Monkey Market | WTC Wharf

Cheeky Monkey Market | WTC Wharf

Cheeky Monkey Market | WTC WharfCheeky Monkey Market | WTC Wharf

Melbourne Cheeky Monkey Market is a FUN FAMILY Market!

We have stall holders selling New items bargain priced Pre-loved items & Unique Handmade items.

Melbourne Cheeky Monkey Market has a strong focus on FUN we aim to be the Market that the kids nag you about taking them too!










❊ When & Where ❊

Date: Saturday 27th March 2021

Times: 1 – 5pm

❊ Venue ❊

 WTC Wharf | World Trade Centre  Events 1
⊜ 18-38 Siddeley St, Docklands | Map

WTC Wharf | World Trade Centre18-38 Siddeley St,, Docklands, , 3008

✆ Event: 0400 081 483 | Venue: (03) 9629 9228

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❊ Coronavirus (COVID-19) Update ❊

As Victoria takes action to stop the spread of coronavirus (COVID-19), events may be cancelled at short notice. Please confirm details before making plans | Disclaimer

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‘We’re all Irish,’ cheeky Eddie is told

Ireland’s coaching staff have responded firmly to the familiar mind games of England’s Australian coach Eddie Jones, who had questioned their “United Nations” selection policy.

Ahead of Saturday’s Autumn Nations Cup clash at Twickenham, Ireland’s kicking coach Richie Murphy insisted that every player within Ireland’s ranks is considered to be Irish.

Jones had remarked on Thursday about the residency rules, referencing Ireland as the “United Nations” on the grounds that eight of their 23-man squad for the Autumn Nations Cup international hail from overseas.

New Zealand-born trio Bundee Aki, James Lowe and Jamison Gibson-Park will start for Ireland in London, alongside South Africa-born duo CJ Stander and Quinn Roux.

Rob Herring, another player from South Africa, former England Under-20 star Billy Burns, born in Bath, and Australia-born Finlay Bealham have been named among the replacements.

The 29-year-old prop Bealham, who was born and grew up in Canberra and played for the Australian Schools ‘A’ side, qualifies for Ireland through his grandmother from Enniskillen in Northern Ireland.

The selection prompted a typical piece of mischief-making from Jones.

“I heard someone calling them the United Nations, mate, so I had a little chuckle,” Jones said.

“Andy Farrell, Mike Catt are just selecting the team they are allowed under the regulations.

“I can understand how Irish people would be upset about Irish-born players missing out. But they are the laws and regulations of international rugby; they are just sticking by the regulations.”

Murphy, though, was adamant Ireland’s coaching staff have no reason to defend their selection and said the diversity does not cause division within the camp.

“Definitely not. We’ve a group of a players obviously who are all eligible to play for Ireland,” said Murphy.

“We select that squad early on in relation to who we feel is in the best place to play for Ireland over the next number of weeks.

“To tell you the truth, we think of all of our players as being Irish. They’ve been in the country, they are members of their local communities, and we just get on with it from there.

“When the guys come in and play for Ireland, they are in a situation where they are more than happy to do that and they take on the challenge as if they were anyone else.

“I can’t say how they actually feel but from a coaching point of view, they fit into the group really well and they’re taking us forward.

“There’s no ‘us and them’, it’s Ireland as a squad, including the management.”

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Wallabies star Michael Hooper takes cheeky shot at old mate Michael Cheika before clash with Argentina in Newcastle

But Hooper cheekily suggested the former Wallabies boss – who speaks several languages – couldn’t be getting his message across particularly succinctly.

“He can speak a lot of languages, but he can’t speak Spanish that well,” Hooper said with a laugh. “So I don’t know how his communication is going. But I’m sure he’s doing a lot for that environment and that duo there work really well together.

“They’re good mates as well. I’ve played around them a lot and it will be great for professional rugby that you’re able to be on the other side now and come up against these guys. It’s good.”

Michael Cheika celebrates Argentina's famous victory over New Zealand last Saturday.

Michael Cheika celebrates Argentina’s famous victory over New Zealand last Saturday.Credit:Getty

The Pumas are always a passionate side, but many eagle-eyed Australian rugby fans have pointed to Pablo Matera’s “show some respect” speech in their historic win against the All Blacks as having all the hallmarks of Cheika.

That may be the case, but Hooper believes Australia’s must-win clash with Argentina on Saturday night at McDonald Jones Stadium will boil down to a little more than respect.

“I’m not too sure what [Cheika is] going to be throwing out and what the boys are going to be coming up with this week, but it’s imperative for us to focus on ourselves and what we want to deliver,” Hooper said.

“It’s Test match rugby and it’s us versus them. Who wants to play their game harder, has more belief in their game. That’s the important [part] tomorrow night.”

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The cheeky text message Nathan Buckley sent former club recruiter after finals win

After expressing his frustrations with Collingwood’s style of play last week, former club recruiter Matt Rendell has revealed coach Nathan Buckley responded with a cheeky text message after their upset victory over West Coast on Saturday night.

Speaking on SEN’s Dwayne’s World last Friday ahead of the elimination final, Rendell said every one of the club’s forwards had gone backwards since their Grand Final appearance in 2018.

Rendell joined the show on Monday afternoon and revealed Buckley made contact with him just minutes after their thrilling one-point win in Perth.

“I will tell a funny story,” he said on SEN’s Dwayne’s World.

“I’m sitting there (on Saturday) and had a few wines by the end of the game watching two games of footy in a row and I got a text message from (Nathan) Buckley at half-past-11 saying, ‘that was for you mate’ with a thumbs up.

“So, I said, ‘thanks for that’ and then gave him some more advice for this week’s game against Geelong.

“It was the first time I had heard from anyone at the club since I left to be truthful, I think he’s had that text ready to go. He must have walked out of the press conference and sent it straight away.

“It was hilarious when I got that, and I had a laugh.”

Rendell was full of praise for Collingwood’s game style, reaffirming his belief that playing attacking footy would see them return to the heights of two years ago.

“It took all of one minute (of the game on the weekend) to realise they had completely changed their tact and I said at the time that the Eagles wouldn’t expect it and they didn’t know how to handle it,” he said.

“They kept (Mason) Cox deep in the goal square which they should’ve been doing all the time because he attracts a lot of the attention and allows the rest of the forward line to get opened up.

“Those (forwards) who had gone backwards all looked like they were back to their 2018 best even though (Jordan) De Goey was well held, but he even kicked two crucial goals.

“I was thinking about it afterwards, maybe Collingwood has been doing rope-a-dope the whole year and then when they’ve got to the finals, they’ve started to attack the game.”

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